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Home >  Information A-ZAll Kids Information Articles Affection in Front of Kids

Affection in Front of Kids

Having children means having to change a lot of routines in your daily life. No longer will you be able to sleep as late as you want, skip meals or go to bed to on a whim. But the biggest change may be in how you show affection to your spouse when the kids are around. Everyone knows that it is inappropriate to act overtly sexual in front of children, but many parents go too far the other way and forget to show any affection at all. This lack of showing affection can have harmful affects on your children. Without an example to follow, children may not learn how to express affection in a healthy way and may end up unable to show emotion or even afraid of showing emotion or being subjected to emotional settings.

The best way to define your affection with your spouse in front of your children is to follow a few simple guidelines.

• Let your children hear you say the words "I love you" often between you and your spouse. This will not only show them how and when to say it but it will also give them a sense of security in knowing how much their parents care for and mean to each other.

• Let your child see harmless displays of affection often. Hugging, simple kisses, hand holding and causal embraces are all examples of daily affection that your child should see between you and your spouse. These examples will re-enforce your feelings of affection between each other and also show your children what a strong and happy relationship looks like.

• Cuddle with your spouse. Children know that cuddling with mom or dad is a way to connect with them and feel safe, secure and loved. Let your children see you expressing this same connection with your spouse. It will again re-enforce their feelings of security and also help you draw a line that makes your children aware of the fact that you need cuddle time with each other just as you need it with your kids.

• Save overtly sexual displays for times when you are alone with your spouse. While children need to see their parents displaying healthy signs of affection and love, they are too young to grasp the meaning of sexual displays. These types of displays, which include very intimate kisses, inappropriate touching and verbal sexual references, can not only confuse your child but also maybe scare them. It is best to keep this type of activity private.

By following these guidelines and using common sense, you can display your love for your spouse while teaching your children many important interpersonal relationship lessons. By watching the actions of you and your spouse, your children can learn how to express love with friends, family members and eventually their own spouses and loved ones.

As your children watch and learn, be sure to point out any inappropriate displays that they may make and then teach them the correct way to handle the emotions that they were expressing.

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