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Home >  Information A-ZAll Kids Information ArticlesThe Beauty of A Blended Family

The Beauty of a Blended Family
by Mike Colby

Often times when a child of divorced parents is asked to speak about their experiences, they supply numerous unhappy moments and times spent wishing their parents would reconcile and be one big happy family again. However, sometimes there are good stories that come out of divorce.

I was only three years old at the time of my parents’ divorce; too young to understand exactly what was going on. The truth was that my mom was getting me out of a bad situation in hopes of making our lives better. We moved out of the city and into the suburbs, and moved in with my grandpa. It was a nice home in a beautiful neighborhood, with lots of kids my age for me to play with. As the only divorced family in the neighborhood (this was 1981, before divorce became as popular as Starbucks), our neighbors took an interest in our well-being. We were always invited to their houses for dinner; I was constantly outside playing with their children; and we never had to worry about spending a holiday alone. It may not have been the most common household situation at the time, but we had a happy home. And it stayed that way for three years.

In the midst of those three years my relationship with my biological father nearly vanished. During this time he moved away and would seldom write or visit. The times he did try to visit, I would end up crying and never wanting to see him again. When he would call me he would attempt to make me feel guilty for not seeing him, and not wanting to come visit. This pattern of events would continue for years until I hit the age of thirteen, when we last spoke or saw each other.

After living with my mom and grandpa for two and a half years, fate decided to pay us a visit. My mom hadn’t really dated at all since her divorce, but when a neighbor wanted to set her up on a blind date, she accepted. She was a divorced woman with a five-year- old son. He was a widow with a six-year-old daughter and a four- year-old son. Sounds like a sitcom, but it was true. As the story has been told to me, it was love at first sight. Actually going out on the first date was simply a formality, as they already knew they were going to get married. Again, straight out of a Hollywood love story, but it is true. The only issue to deal with was to be delicate about the fact that children were involved in the equation. Luckily for them (and for us), the three kids were young enough, and got along so well that it never became an issue. My parents’ second date was the “children introductory date”. The five of us got together for the first time at an indoor carnival. Soon after, we began spending more and more time together and getting to know one another. We were all present for the special day our parents were married. Then, when I was eight, I got the gift of a baby sister.

The beauty of my story is that we are, totally and completely, a family. There was never any use of the word step, or half, or any other words associated with divorced families. I have two sisters, a brother, and a mom and a dad. I have my family.

©2005 Los Angeles Family Magazine


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