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Discipline for Toddlers:

The discipline for a toddler works really well when it is creative. It works even better if it varies from time to time. It is not the same as disciplining a teenager or older child. You likely have no activities you can restrict your toddler from, and their memories are so short, they do not understand why they will not get to go to a fun place a week after they misbehaved. The memory of a toddler is short, so short in fact that it is almost nonexistent. And their attention span is very short as well. Lecturing a toddler will not work. It is likely that you can get them to sit still for a total of about five minutes, but if you think they are hearing you during this entire time, you are fooling yourself. And, if by some miracle, your child actually is listening, and understands what you tell them, they probably really care. But it will only matter to them for the length of time that they can remember that conversation. For those who don’t know, this probably isn't near as long as the lecture was (and this applies whether the lecture lasted 2 minutes or twenty). It is hard to find a discipline for a toddler that will work, because the truth of it is, no matter what the discipline, they may remember it, but it is not likely they will even remember what it is for. I have two daughters, and one day, when they were 2 and 3, they got into my make-up drawer. It took them all of about five minutes to have the entire bathroom covered in purple makeup to the point that I had to throw away or bleach almost everything in the room. They were in big trouble for that. They had to get a big lecture (mostly yelling) and then go sit separately on their beds in time-out with no toys, no books, no talking, no fun whatsoever for twenty minutes. Please keep in mind how long twenty minutes is to a toddler, it seems a lot longer than an adult’s twenty minutes. Then, before they were allowed to get up, we again explained to them why they had been punished, why it was wrong, reminded them what their punishment had been, all of it. Then we informed them they would be in bigger trouble if they did it again. I completely and totally fooled myself on this occasion, because for a little while I actually believed that we had accomplished something. Well, we did, for a little while. And, when I say a little while, I actually mean a very little while: all of about three hours. Then they were back in there, playing in the make-up (which, I feel I need to add, had been moved to a different drawer after their previous escapade- and they did not see me do this). I do have to let you know, to their credit, there had been a nap between the two occasions, so the sleep must have wiped away their memory.

Little children make decisions based on what they know will be their punishment. The eventual goal, of course, is to turn out an adult who makes the right decisions in life because they want to do the right thing, not because they are trying to avoid punishment. But there is a point at which this is just not the case, even with the average adult. Why are you not a bank robber? The reason you are not (this is, of course, assuming that you aren‘t) is because it is just plain wrong. Granted, there are some people who may not think it is wrong, but don’t do it because they don’t want to face the punishment if they are caught. They are not willing to do the time, so they just don’t do the crime. This is why you should vary punishments often, even thought the discipline has to stay consistent. Keep changing up the punishment methods, and they won’t be able to choose to be bad, and just accept that it is worth the punishment, because they don’t have any idea what that punishment might be.

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