Home >  Information A-Z >  All Kids Information Articles >  Handling Death

Handling Death

Dealing with the subject of death with young child can be tough. Whether the death involves a grandparent, sibling, parent, friend or even the family pet, it is going to be a hard topic to tackle and work through. Fortunately, how you handle the discussion can shape how well your child deals with the loss.
If parents treat the death as a natural occurrence and strive to talk to the child in terms they can understand, children will be more apt to grasp the meaning of death and more able to work through the grief process. Along those lines, there are some things that should and shouldn't be said to a child when you are talking to them about death.

• Never tell your child that the deceased person is just sleeping. This can cause the child to fear sleep, or worse, cause the child to believe that the person will soon wake up again. If they believe that death is reversible, they will put off dealing with the loss.

• Never avoid the subject. If your child has questions about death, it is best to discuss the answers openly and honestly. Children ask questions for a reason. If they do not get the answers from you they may resort to making up their own conclusion.

• Never ridicule or dismiss your child's feelings. If your child is experiencing a feeling associated with the grieving process that you do not feel or that you think is below his or her maturity level, keep your feelings to yourself. Each person grieves in his or her own way, including children. Making a child feel bad about their thoughts can do more harm than good.

• Always use terms your child can understand. Take the age of your child into account. It will do no good for you to explain death in scientific terms to your three year old. In fact, the terms and the confusion they bring may make your child more upset or afraid.

• Always answer all questions, even if they seem absurd. A small child might want to know how their deceased puppy is going to eat if he is buried underground. Explain as gently as possible to your child that their puppy no longer has to eat because he is dead.

• Always stay attuned to your child's feelings. Younger children may not be able to verbalize their feelings but their feelings are sure to show in their behavior. Watch your child fro signs that he or she is not coping well. This is especially true for decisions regarding the funeral. If your child seems to be doing fairly well and is interested in attending the services then you should probably allow them too. However, even if your child expresses an interest in going, if you see signs that they are too stressed out or unable to cope, you should restrict their attendance.

• Enlist the help of family, friends and teachers. Sometimes parents can be too upset by the death to adequately help their child. Or, sometimes, a different view on things meshes better with your child's way of thinking. Whatever the reason, do not be afraid to ask for help. The more people that are trying to help your child to cope, the better. Children will need all sorts of support when grieving and it is best if they can find this support at every turn.



Copyright 2010. All educational materials are the sole property of Kid First Internet and are available for the benefit of our parents. Duplication or use of any material requires the express consent of Kids First Internet.




Browse information articles by category:

Babies
Toddlers
Kids
Health and Safety
Nutrition and Feeding
Bathing
Behavior and Discipline
Diapers and Potty Training
Playtime activities and toys
Clothing
Napping and Nighttime

View All Articles

Kids Bedding Information Center:

Nursery and Crib Safety
Allergy Information
Kids Bedding Gift Giving
Bedding Themes
Crib and Nursery Sizes
Typical Prices
Bedding Production
Cleaning
Materials and Fabrics
Boys Bedding and Girls Bedding

Kids and Baby Bedding Frequently Asked Questions

What are the best kids bedding brands? A look at some of the best kids bedding sets.

What comes in the different crib and nursery sets? Know exactly what you are ordering - before you order.

How do I choose the perfect kids bedding gift? Here are three simple rules for picking out a wonderful kids bedding or baby bedding set!

How can I create a safe nursery? A short article on safety and kids bedding and baby bedding.

How do I clean my kids bedding? Tips and directions to make your kids bedding set last forever.

How long does it take for my kids bedding purchase to arrive? Read about why it is important to order kids bedding several weeks in advance.

Why buy kids bedding or baby bedding online? Learn why we can offer the best prices on kids bedding.