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Siblings and Hand-Me-Downs:

Many parents save their first child's clothing so that when they have another child later they are able to use them again. This makes sense, since children outgrow clothes so quickly. Many of the clothes that a child outgrows will look like they were (and possibly actually were) hardly ever worn. This is also a frequent thing for parents to do with furniture, as well. Children's furniture is often barely used, and in great condition. Since this is the case, and obviously the next child will need the same type of furniture, it only makes sense for parents who think they may want another child to save this stuff.

The only problem with hand-me-downs comes in when the children are close in age, the younger child only gets hand-me-downs (never their own new stuff) and they are old enough to realize that this is happening.

There are a few ways to make hand-me-downs enjoyable by your younger child.

• Don't let the child know—if your child is young enough, and is separated enough in age by the older child, you should put the clothes up until the younger one is old enough for them. Then, pulling them out of the garage doesn't make it obvious that they were their older sibling's clothes. At least not as obvious as them being in the closet ever since the older child was wearing them. And, if your child doesn't realize it, you shouldn't just volunteer that information. Similarly, if the older child is old enough, you should tell them not to let their brother or sister know that it used to be their clothes.

• Get them some clothes of their own—if the only clothes your child owns are hand-me-downs, they will feel like they are second-best. This can make them feel like they aren't good enough to deserve new clothes and this can add to the competition and sibling rivalry that already exists.

• Make sure the clothes are in good condition—receiving clothes that are previously owned by an older sibling that are cute and that the child would have loved to have when it was new is one thing, but handing down clothes that the older child has ruined, stained, or simply worn out, is entirely another, and isn't necessarily a good idea. Some kids will beg their older siblings to let them wear certain clothes the entire time they have them, and these times are okay, unless, of course, the older sibling doesn't want to part with them, which brings us to another point.

• Make sure the older sibling is okay with handing down their things—this can be a big issue, too. Not only does the handee feel like they are only good enough to get seconds, the hander may feel like they are being forced to give away their things when they aren't yet ready. This can make passing the clothes, toys and furniture down from one child to the next even more difficult. The only real way to avoid issues with this is to try to replace most things that are being handed down with something new (not necessarily bigger and better, because that will simply lead back to the jealousy from the younger one).

Doing these things may not always work out as perfectly as you would like, but it may work better than it could be if you didn't follow these guidelines. Just keep in mind that siblings will bicker, they will fight and argue about anything they can possibly think of, and this is just one of many. Being the parent, you should try look at this in the best light possible. While trying not to give them any more to argue about than necessary, you should also remember that they will find a way to fight about it no matter how fair you try to make it.

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