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Letting Kids Be Independent:

One of the hardest things for a parent to have to do is to learn to let go of their children. You expect to have to do this when they graduate high school and are moving off to college, but what you don't expect is that they will begin to become independent long before that, and many parents aren't ready for it.

It may be something as little as your child learning to tie their shoes. While this is a great accomplishment for your child, and you are extremely proud of them for it, your child now needs you for one less thing. This may seem trivial, but after your child starts to learn many new skills such as this, it can be a bit depressing for a parent who has been needed for every little thing to have to let go.

This is especially true when it is the parent's youngest child. While parents know that their children will grow up and be more independent and self-dependent, and they are likely looking forward to this for many reasons, it can still be a hard thing to face.

Once your child is a toddler, they will begin to show signs of the independence to come. They will want to pick out their own clothes, put their own shoes on, climb in and out of the car on their own, and more. At this age, your child will still not be able to do many of the things that they are trying to be able to do, so you will still be needed in many ways. This can be a very irritating time for the parents because the child may be insistent on doing it themselves, but they either can't, or they take much more time than if the parent did it. During this time, you should let your child do these little things as often as possible, and it's understandable that you may just have to do them yourself on many occasions.
Then, your child will learn many of these things. They will begin to tie their own shoes, want to pour their own drinks, get their own snacks out of the refrigerator, learn to read, bathe themselves, and more. All of these milestones are very important, and it is a great thing when your child achieves them.

Then, when your child starts school, they are gone all day long making their own decisions, such as who their friends are, whether or not the will behave for the teacher, whether or not they will bring their homework home, which food they will choose at lunch, and more. Parents expect their children to need them a lot more than they do at this age. Many parents believe that their children will have a hard time going to school and that they aren't ready for that independence. Most of the time, though, it isn’t the child who isn't ready—it's the parent.

You might think that, after all the time you had to spend doing every single thing for them, these days of independence will be more than welcome. In some ways, for most parents, they are. Life becomes easier on the parent in many ways when your child can do more things for themselves.

But, there may be a little piece of you that you didn't expect that isn't ready for this. It is a hard thing to let go of your child, especially when they are still so young that you aren't even sure if they are ready. But most kids are ready for many things way before their parents believe that they are, and a child learning to do things on their own and becoming independent from the parents is absolutely necessary. And, while it may be a hard thing, the parents just have to sit back and watch and hope their child is ready to handle whatever it is they are tackling on their own.



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