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Older Kids Changing Schools

When children are forced to change schools, whether it is do to a move or a rezoning of school districts, parents of young children often see the need to make early and aggressive arrangements. Parents of older children, on the other hand, sometimes neglect to realize that their child might need help in making the adjustment. Just because a child is old enough to understand the reasons for the change, does not mean that they will be able to make the change easily.

Older children especially, may be reluctant to leave well-established friendships and the comfort of a familiar environment. And while they may be feeling the same anxieties as younger children, they may be less open to the thought of sharing those anxieties with you.

Even if your child doesn't ask for your help there are a few things that you can do to make their transition easier.

• Call the school and ask them if they have a new student orientation program. Many schools have these programs and use them to help a child meet a few new friends, learn their way around the building and accustom themselves to their new schedule.

• Sign up for the PTA. The parent-teacher association is responsible for planning many school activities. If you are involved in this planning, then you can keep your child abreast of the goings on at his or her school. This "insider" knowledge may make them feel more a part of the school.

• Arrange a meeting. If you know a child that is attending your child's new school, arrange for them to meet prior to the move. Walking in on the first day and seeing a familiar face can make your child feel more relaxed and welcome.

• Sign your child up for after school activities. Sometimes it is hard for children to make friends in a classroom setting since most of their time in there is dedicated to listening and learning. Participating in an after school activity will give them a better chance to socialize and make new friends.

• Help your child keep in contact with old friends. One of the hardest parts about making new friends is the thought of losing your old friends. Arrange to drive your older child to their old neighborhood a few times for visits. If time or distance makes that impossible, arrange for other ways that the children can keep in touch. By stationary for letter writing, extend their phone call time limit to allow them adequate time to catch up, or purchase pre-paid phone cards so that they can talk to friends out of state.

No matter how hard you try and how much you prepare, changing schools is still going to rough on your child, at least for the first few days. The best thing you can do to help your child is to be patient. Kids need a chance to work through problems on their own. Step back, don't push them if they are not ready, and let them know that you are there for them if they need to talk.

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