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Pet Deaths:

One of the most difficult job a parent has is teaching their child about death, especially when it's someone or something that they love. Many children have to face the death of a pet at an extremely early age. This is often because their first pet was simply one of those animals that traditionally don't have a very long life span (such as hamsters or fish). One way to try to avoid having to teach your child about death at an early age is to not get these types of animals until they get older. This doesn't always work, though. You could very well decide to buy your child a pet dog, and the dog could get hit by a car. Some parents feel that, even though it is less likely to happen, it is much harder to explain and deal with the death of a dog or cat than it is for a hamster or fish. The child just becomes more attached to these types of animals than they do the little ones that stay in a cage.

If you and your child do have to face the tragedy of a pet's death, there are a few things you can do to try to make it easier on your children during this rough time for them:

• Be understanding—even if you personally believe that the child shouldn't be so upset over a week old beta that you bought him, you should still be supportive, and not even let him know your true feelings. You should also be willing to listen and give any advice that you thing might help your child get through this rough time.

• Don't try to replace the pet—you can do this later, in fact, you have plenty of time for that. And, of course, if your child wants a new version of whatever type of animal just died, you should be willing to get him one. If your child doesn't bring it up, you won't want to go buy one some day and show up with it. Doing this can possibly be a bad thing, because you may be just adding guilt (for trying to replace the animal that's gone) to all those emotions your child is already having a hard time with.

• Only inform your child when they are ready—you will not want to explain that the animal died and is never coming back if you don't have to. There will be plenty of time throughout your child's life to be able to do that. If they aren't old enough to understand death and beliefs and religion, etc. then it only makes sense to not cause them any more heartache than necessary.

• Tell your child about your own losses—although you will want to be careful while doing this. You should never tell your child (or nonchalantly let them know) about how you loved your pet way more than they loved theirs and if you could handle it so could they. This is not what your child needs to hear right now, and it will all work out better in the end if you do share what you went through, but share it in a non-comparison way.

• Let your child make some of the decisions—this can help bring closure for your child, which will make it much easier for your child to be able to let the animal go. This can include where your child wants the pet buried, what your child wants to do with the pet's things (chew toys, aquarium). While this may not help much, it can possibly ease some of your child's pain.



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