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Raising Optimistic Kids

Studies have shown time and time again that adults with an optimistic attitude, whether they are born with an optimistic personality or have learned the skill optimism, are healthier, less stressed, better able to cope with change and difficulties and able to achieve higher feelings of contentment.

So the question is…how do you raise an optimistic child? Luckily, the answer is a lot easier than you think it is. To begin raising an optimistic child, you must first look at your own personality and to determine what outlook you are passing on to your children. If you find that you tend to be more pessimistic, you need to begin changing your perspective since kids tend learn mostly through example.

The next thing you can do to encourage optimism in your children is to give them the skills necessary to think in optimistic terms. These skills include problem-solving skills, decision-making skills and coping skills. If a child learns at an early age how to solve problems and conflicts, how to cope with disappointment and how to make sound decisions, then they will be more likely to have an optimistic attitude because everyday problems will be easier to handle and seem less disheartening to them.

In order to allow your child to develop problem-solving skills, you need to stand back and let them have a chance to figure things out for themselves. This can be done by letting your child attempt new skills like tying their shoes or putting a puzzle together on their own for longer periods of time before you step in to offer assistance.

Coping skills can be taught by allowing your child to experience disappointment. Although most parents would love to step in and fix all of their child's problems so that they never have to be sad or hurt, it is actually more beneficial if parents let their child experience the feelings when things go wrong. By learning to deal with small disappointments, like not getting the newest toy, when they are young, children learn how to cope with the bigger disappointments that come later in life.

Decision-making skills can be taught by offering even the smallest child, choices. Begin small by letting your child choose between to outfits to wear for the day, or between to different lunch menus. As they grow older, you can offer them two choices of times to start their homework, or choices in which chores to complete first. The key to this process is allowing your child to be wrong sometimes. If they choose to wear shorts even though you have pointed out that it is a chilly day, you should allow your child to wear the shorts as long as they wont be outside for very long. Then, when they complain of being cold, you can point out the consequences of their decision and help them come up with a solution for the next time they are faced with a similar situation. By allowing them to "suffer" the consequences of a wrong decision, you will allow them to learn much more quickly and to have a greater understanding of the entire decision making process.

Once you have adopted a parenting style that gives your child these necessary skills, it is time to add other optimism lessons into their daily lives. You can do this by pointing out "the bright side" whenever things seem to go wrong. This can be done casually as the situations arise, or you can make this type of thinking into a game that can be played often.

To turn optimistic thinking lessons into a game, you just need to pick a common scenario and have your child try to think up a "good" side to the bad situation. For example, if you say that you dropped a carton of eggs, your child could say… luckily, I only two of them broke. By playing this game you can teach your children to automatically think on the bright side, like that ten of the eggs were spared, as opposed to automatically assuming the worst, like that they wasted two eggs and now they may not have enough or will be inconvenienced by having to replace them.

By starting this type of playing and parenting while your children are young, you can eventually change even the most pessimistic child into an optimistic, happier one.

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