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Sleepover at Friends House

Your child's first sleep over at a friend's is a cause for celebration and concern. Celebration because it means that your child is growing up and experiencing new things. Concern because there are many details to think about before allowing your child to go it alone for the first time. To ensure a safe and happy event, use the following tips.

• Do talk to the inviting parent before hand to hammer out all the details. It is best to get an idea of what will be happening at the party so that you can prepare your child before. By preparing your child in advance, you will help cut down on any anxiety they may feel about the unknown. Also remember to ask if your child needs to bring anything.

• Do talk to the inviting parent about concerns you may have about their home. Do they smoke? Do they have guns in the house? What types of music and television programs will they allow your child to watch? Make sure that their rules are compatible with yours before you agree to let your child spend the night.

• Do tell the other parent about any special needs your child has. If your child takes medication or needs a certain blanket to fall asleep, share this information with the other parent so that they are prepared.

• Do explain to your child that they have the option of coming home. Many parents are afraid to acknowledge this with their child because they fear it will incline their child to call, but in reality, knowing that the offer to come is there will make your child feel more comfortable about staying.

• Do be on time for the party and on time to pick your child up. You do not want your child to stress out about being late and you do not want them and the other family waiting on your arrival in the morning. Being on time in the morning will also reassure your child for future sleep-overs.

• Don't try to reassure your child by telling them that everything will be all right. This type of statement can make them wonder why you are saying it. They may begin to fear that something will go wrong. The statement could also prove to be false. You never know what will happen so you should never guarantee that all will be fine, if you do your child may not trust you the next time.

• Don't tell your child that if they don't behave you will never let them go to another sleep over. Children can get rowdy at sleep-overs, especially ones that involve a large number of children. Instead, talk to your child about their expected behavior and the consequences that will happen if they choose to misbehave.

• Don't call to check on your child. By doing so you may make your child anxious, especially if they hear anxiety in your voice. Assume that if they do not call you that everything is fine. If you are having trouble keeping your worry at bay, find an activity to occupy your mid. Maybe take a walk or read a book that you haven't had time for.

Along with following these tips, it is also important to talk to your child the day after their sleep-over. Do not interrogate them, but do ask opened-ended questions so that you can a real feel for how the evening went and identify any areas that you need to address before the next sleep-over.


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